why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?
“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”
I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…
I mean.
“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”
“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”
Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
I love this post
Them: hey man if you jump into the water you’ll fucking drown Me: i’m all in baby
“Away with you!” I exclaimed, swinging an oar toward the unyielding siren
“Oh, but we have anything you could ever want,” she cooed. I shook my head.
“I want for nothing! There is nothing you could offer me!” The siren paused for a moment.
“Dank Memes,” she said, “The Dankest Memes you co–” Her sentence was cut short by my epic cannonball into the water.
“come here, we have free healthcare and-” me: *dives in*
Tomb of Annihilation has been announced as the next campaign for 5th edition. It appears to give the Curse of Strahd treatment to the old Tomb of Horrors adventure. It will be released on September 2017.
The adventure will take place in the wild land of Chult.
This was the project that
Pendleton Ward
consulted.
The plague of the undead and a powerful Lich will feature heavily on the story.
Resurrection magic is being disrupted. Something is happening to those that have been revived.
The tombs have an optional “hard mode”, which allows DMs to limit the HP available for heroes.
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.
It’d bring me great joy.
I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs
ready when you are
Or if you’d like to have some more options….
I’m 6'4" 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.
i’m 4′10″
93 pounds
very skilled in combat. very sharp teeth. cat like reflexes. women hate me but i love them. huge penis and very firm testicles. never seen a frog or amphibian before but i would love to.
